To Dream an Impossible Dream
by bubblyangel101
Summary: "She doesn't dare to hope for him." A three and one-half page long fic about Kazuha and Heiji, mostly Kazuha. Reflects upon life, reality, and dreams in general. Please read and review! Not angst.


Disclaimer: I do not own. Dedicated to you-know-who-you-are…yes, I finally finished! (After I promised so long ago…yes, ******'* *** ****, I'm talking to you.)

oOo

Sometimes she can't help but wonder about what it would be like if she had someone to love her and cherish her for who she is.

(Of course, she's always known that he's going to be the one for her, forever and for eternity.)

Sometimes she wakes up in the morning and thinks to herself, _Today is the day. I'm going to tell him how I feel, _only to lose all courage when she spots him walking down the hallway, green eyes twinkling and his mouth curved upward in a smile.

And then she sighs and crushes her feelings down into a tiny corner of her heart, knowing that he'll never know, and maybe it's for the best that way.

The selfish part of her keeps on pushing and prodding and yelling, "Confess!" But Kazuha can't bring herself to be selfish; it's not in her nature, and she's not willing to hurt him to get what she wants deep down inside.

But in her dreams, he takes her gently by the hand and they walk down a moonlit river, sakura blossoms fluttering by the wayside. He smiles at her and looks at her like a woman, like she's always wanted.

Not as a childhood friend, someone to share your secrets with. Not as a younger sister, someone to protect. As someone to treasure and live with for all your life.

And everything is perfect: the crickets chirping in the background, the scent of flowers and the gentle moonbeams that fall across his features, the caring look in his eyes…This is her favorite part of the dream, the part that lasts for merely half a second.

Then she finds herself in her bed again, staring up at the pale green ceiling of her room and clutching her mattress. _It was only a dream._

She has never hoped for stardom, riches, or power. After all, Kazuha knows that she isn't the type to hope for those things.

She doesn't dare to hope for him.

She knows that she has never belonged with him, not in his honors classes, not with his genius friends, not in his prestigious family. Kazuha has already accepted the fact that she is not fit for him; all she can hope for is if he will let her silently walk behind him.

And when he stumbles and loses his way, she'll be there to help him up.

That is why she winces when he calls her his "follower." That is why she scolds herself for daring to get her hopes up whenever he seems to feel the same way. And that is why a little part of her withers and dies every time he laughs and calls her an ahou for not being able to understand his brilliant deductions.

Because she knows she doesn't deserve him.

By day she is the fussy younger sister, always clashing with her older brother and making sure he doesn't get too far out of line. But by night she is the dreamer, the wonderer, her mind filled with what-ifs and impossible dreams.

But no matter what dream she invents, or story she weaves; it is always shattered because she knows that it's impossible for someone like him to love someone like her.

He is blissfully oblivious to this all, grinning like an idiot while pulling her along to the latest crime scene. "Did you see?" he asks, his face lighting up in excitement. "I actually got it right—again!"

She smiles and nods and does her best to fill in the role of the meitantei's supporter. But secretly, she is storing the elated smile on his face in her treasury of mental pictures to admire later when she's alone.

He really does treat her like his best friend, and somewhere in Kazuha's mind, a small part of her rejoices in the fact that the only other friend that Heiji treats as dearly as he treats her would probably be Kudou-kun. _At least I have an advantage over his fan club._

Kazuha also knows that he cares for her, though, and even if his feelings aren't that of a lover, at least—at the very least—she counts as a friend. This is what she tells herself whenever she starts sinking into a silly depressed mood over the dark-skinned ahou.

There is really nothing she can do by this point. Her little "crush" is no longer a "crush" anymore.

Somewhere along the line, she has fallen for her childhood best friend, head over heels.

And so as Heiji walks up to her with those shining green eyes, she clamps her mouth shut and does her best to match his dazzling smile. He grabs her by the shoulders and spins her around.

Her back is pressed against the hallway wall, and his face fills up her sight, blocking everything else completely out of sight.

For a moment, it is just him and her.

He moves his head closer, and Kazuha blushes at their proximity.

Was this what she had been hoping for? Was he finally going to realize how she really thought about him? Was he going to…?

"Guess what?" he asks, his voice an octave and a half lower than usual.

"What?" Kazuha replies, more out of habit than a real reply. Her heart races, and her blush is fiercer than ever.

Heiji leans even closer, eyes closing. "I WON THE KENDO CHAMPIONSHIPS!" he suddenly screams.

Before Kazuha has time to react, he picks her up and swings her in a circle, his laughter echoing down the hallway.

"Heiji…put me down!" She is laughing, too, but there is a tiny part of her that feels strangely disappointed. She shrugs the feeling off and is instantly overwhelmed with happiness for Heiji.

Because if he is happy, then she will do her best to be the same.

He shakes his head and swings her even higher.

The world flashes by in a blur. The only things that Kazuha can sense are Heiji's laughter and his strong arms encircling her waist.

At last, she is let down gently. Without thinking about anything, Kazuha instantly wraps her arms around Heiji, feeling so happy that she thinks she is floating.

She remembers how hard he practiced for the championships, and how he had taken her aside one day and told her about how he didn't think he was going to be able to beat "the guy who looks like Kudou." She had hugged him then, too, hurting more than he did, trying harder than he tried; anything to wipe that sad, sad look from his eyes.

The strong _thump, thump, thump _of his heartbeat gives Kazuha a sense of stability and safety. She leans in his embrace, feeling his arms subconsciously tighten around her (_Because I will never never NEVER let you get hurt, _he thinks) and she can almost imagine that his feelings toward her are the same as hers toward him.

But just as suddenly as that feeling appears, it is gone, and all that is left is Kazuha standing by herself as Heiji slowly disentangles himself from her arms. She sees a flash of something in his eyes: uncertainty? Awkwardness? Fear? She can't figure it out.

So she swallows the feeling in the pit of her stomach and skips ahead to their first class of the morning. "Come on, Heiji! We'll be late!"

He seems to have recovered in the few seconds that she took her eyes off him and runs after her. "Wait up!"

And as Kazuha enters the classroom and takes her seat, the space around her waist feeling empty and cold, she sighs and tells herself, _Not today._

_I don't know whether to be happy because we're friends or sad because we'll never be anything more._

She never knows that, a few seats away, Heiji is thinking the exact same thing.

oOo

AN: You know, I actually wasn't on planning writing something semi-happy like this. (It was supposed to be sad and depressing…whatever.) But it's kind of hard to write angst when your muse is singing, "MAKE IT HAPPY!"

So….we compromised, and this is what you get.

Normally Kai/Ao appears in my head more often, but today everything was screaming "KAZUHA AND HEIJI!"

I hope you like it…gah, I don't really know what to write anymore.

Please review so I can know how I did! 


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